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International Pronouns Day
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International Pronouns Day
Hi all,
I’m subscribed to Karen Catlin’s 5 Ally Actions Newsletter that comes to my inbox every Friday morning. In this last one she gives tips on how to gather pronouns respectfully with Wednesday, October 19, being International Pronouns Day. Here’s what she shared:Gather Pronouns Respectfully
(This tip comes to you from Jeannie Gainsburg, Author of The Savvy Ally: A Guide for Becoming a Skilled LGBTQ+ Advocate)
October 19 is International Pronouns Day. Let?s celebrate by learning the best ways to gather pronouns from others.
One to One: When talking with someone in a brief conversation, for example, in line at a coffee shop, you typically don?t need to know the person?s pronouns. You?ll use the ungendered word ?you,? so there?s no need to ask. For example, ?Are you next in line?? When meeting a new coworker or someone who you?ll be building a relationship with, consider offering your pronouns first and use language that doesn?t directly ask for pronouns. For example, ?I?m Jeannie. My pronouns are she/her/hers. How may I refer to you?? This is a better approach than ?What are your pronouns?? It?s clear what you?re asking because you?ve just shared your pronouns, but it gives the person an out if they don?t want to share theirs. They can simply say, ?You can call me Jay.?
Small Groups: When you?re having a small group conversation, listen to the pronouns being used by others, especially if the others seem to know each other well, and mirror those terms. If you?re in a situation where you feel like the most respectful thing to do is ask, use the technique mentioned above.
In Large Numbers: The best way to gather pronouns is to create systems or practices where you?re giving everyone the opportunity to share them if they want to. This avoids having to single anyone out whose pronouns are unknown, and it indicates that your workplace is an LGBTQ+ welcoming and inclusive place. Some great ways to gather pronouns in large numbers are in group meetings when folks are introducing themselves, on intake forms, and by placing a bowl of pronoun stickers or pins in your waiting area. When gathering pronouns in large numbers, make sure people know that sharing is optional, give examples of the information you?re seeking (in case people are confused by what you?re asking), and avoid using the phrase ?preferred pronouns,? which makes it sound like using their pronouns is optional.
Wondering what to do if someone says their pronouns are she/they or he/they? Check out this previous edition of 5 Ally Actions.
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Caleb Eubanks (he/him/his)
Union Marketing & Communication Manager
University of Central Missouri
eubanks@ucmo.edu
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